just like a fucking drug.

I don`t know how to describe how to describe this in human words...there`s actually no way to get something that can make you feel like nothing ever,But EVER, happened to you.You know what I`m talking about.You can still remember those nights when you didn`t sleep at all.That tought just marked you so much.Well maybe you shouldn’t call it thought.You`d better call it…incident.Event.Actually,no.Idiot event.Just an idiot moment that comes like a volcano erupting in your perfect life.That makes you loose your inside peace.Makes you loose the last human part that you got. When you get angry,and then you can`t hold the tears anymore so you let`em go. When you cry and you are just wandering what did go wrong. What horrible mistake you did. Why does it happen to you?Or you`ll better say why is it happening to you again? Why do you let it controle you?Why can`t you do anything to stop that awful feeling that eats your soul on inside.You try to get away from it. But you basicly can `t. It` s barely impossible. So what do you do now? You start smoking. Well everybody, like every single person on this planet knows that smoking is not ok at all. Especially when you suffere of broken heart stuff. Any single person on this Earth would say that you have to be retarded to start having this unbreakable habit because you got a broken heart. And yes, you know that they are right. You know you destroy your health and mind when you are doing this. But you don`t care. It`s coming like a drug in your life that you can`t get away from. But you feel the peace again when you have the cigarette in your hand. It`s more easy to take the pain like this.You don`t feel your physic affected so much anymore.Now it`s all about smoke…the smoke that comes trough your nose and you just don`t wanna let it out.You wanna like…drown in smoke.You wanna know it`s over.IT` OVER.That`s what you wanna hear.Not even friends can make you stop or feel better at all.So now,for the moment,your best friends are the cigarette and the mirror.So now,what about the mirror? Yea, you are now standing in front of your mirror and talking to the person who`s in it. Your twin sister.That actually doesn`t exist,it`s only in your sick brain.You start talking to the walls,to the stars,to your teddy bear.You realize you`re getting mad.Like you need medicine .You need to be in a hospital and you really need help from somebody. And then ,when you are sitting in front of the computer and writing all this ,you realize that you are the mad person that needs help.So save yourself until is not too late.