Rethinking :)

NO.Actually,no.You think you changed your mind.Yep,you did.It was one of those nights when you went for a walk.Just by yourself,in the middle of the night.You were on your own even if anything would`ve happen to you.You were walking on a hill .Only you and...your music player filled with slow songs.The cold moon.The fresh air.Those beautiful blue-black clouds.Some pink strips from the twilight matched with the last golden sunbeams combined with some red and golden leaves. It seems such a commomplace doesn`t it?Well you know you can surely say it`s not true.You remember when you got on top of the hill in the end…Outta nowhere the wind started blowing trough your hair.You closed your eyes and tried to relax.And you actually did it ,you were amazed.You felt so damn free.You loved the feeling! You wanted to never end.Just like from nowhere,a halo of happiness has covered you.With your eyes still closed,you started easily smiling.And then a bright gorgeaous smile covered your face.You started laughing! You were Free! You were so free to be happy ! You felt like you could`ve fly with birds ,travel in places that you`ve never been to.You barely loved it… And then you started thinking and thinking...and then thinking again.And guess what?You started remember the beauty of the world.The beauty of a sincere smile.The beauty of a warm hug.The beauty of having a lovely family.The magic feeling of creation.The beauty of the universe.The pointless wasting of time ,time that you should`ve use doing something else than being sad..Like trying to compose new songs.Trying to draw the little world in white and black.Trying to become a better dancer.Trying to take artistic photos.Going to opera.Going to theatre.Meeting new people.Things that have changed your life since you were borned.Things that make your life better.You`ve thought that evening was a blessing.You realised that around you is a lot of stuff to do.You were so depressed before seeing that incredible view,before feeling the freedom on your skin.You`ve descovered the beauty of life again.So then after this "waking up" moment,you were like " ok.If this guy cares at least a little about this piece of nothing that we two call realationship,then he`ll do something about it" . You stopped thinking how to get things better.How to make it work better.Beacause you`ve thought of it too much,for sure.You two started to get away from each other…slowly but surely. And when you know that he doesn`t even care...you`re telling yourself...let it go.You can feel it so deeply in your soul.You are tired of sadness ,of cigarette![that you knew you can use to make you feel better].Of tears because of nothing! Aren’t you sorry now `cause you didn`t look around in time?Maybe he says he cares,but you can see the results.In that night,you stopped being dumb.You stopped belivin` every single crap that he says.Stopped getting it so into your heart.You were like "if you dude wanna leave,then leave.If you wanna stay,then stay.Beacause,as a metter of fact ,if no change will come into it ,then there`s no sense to keep it anymore like this.Take it or leave it.You are the only one that can change things “.Well yea..You know you love him.You know you care about him.You wouldn`t EVER,but ever,do anything to hurt him.So,in conclusion, you give love.You like to give love , don`t you?But what if you don`t get payoff back? What if in this "realationship" you are the only half?What if it makes you destroy your life? No answers bazed on that.But what if you wanna feel free again,right? you wanna be broadmindedness again.Don`t get it wrong ,you don`t wanna break it up.You mean,for sure,you don`t wanna break it up. You know you wanna feel much more than pain.LOVE.That`s what you want.And that`s what you`re crazy about.But you know you you`ll be ok this time.You can sleep now.You are getting better in all the stuff you wanted to do:) You`re happy.:) Anyway,the point of this post is that...you redescovered life.The beauty of the world.:)You`ll never let happines get away from you again.:)